Your destiny. Own it

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Cartea Your destiny. Own it – Author: Victoria Chifor – Letras publishing house, 2021.

Have you ever struggled in thinking that you should be further ahead by now? Do you feel empty, hopeless, depressed, sad, and desperate? Do you feel jealous of others whom you think are ahead of you?

“I should be further ahead right now.  My life should be better. I can do things better. I am not enough. I am not lovable.” I used to say it constantly. When I was my 20s and early 30s, I had spent so much time feeling like I am behind. Especially when things didn’t go the way I wanted or things didn’t happen as quickly as desired.

I wish someone gave me an advice and say “Chill Out!”

Every person I know has felt this way at some point in their life, because we know deep inside that we have to either grow or die. Growth and contribution fulfill us. Progress makes us happy.

But if we don’t stop believing we are always behind, we are going to keep feeling hopeless, empty, and desperate no matter how successful we are or how much we achieve. Robin Williams was an example of a huge talent and achievements, but he was fighting with depression. At the age of 63, he committed suicide. That is the terrible truth about depression. It is a disease that can rob you of your perspective on life, and it often co-exists with substance misuse or addiction. Depression is not just being sad, and it’s not a character weakness or personal failing. It is a disease that can impact all facets of one’s life. It can make you think that life is not worth living. Because of public misperceptions of the disease, people with depression often try to conceal their disease until that, too, becomes too much to bear.

In today’s world we are encouraged to use any form of distraction outside of ourselves which initially gives us, temporary, a higher self-esteem such as shopping, work, beauty cosmetics industry, alcohol, drugs adrenaline, food, toxic and abusive love relations, gambling, video gaming, internet etc. and releases endorphins and dopamine in the brain, creating pleasurable sensations that become addictive. This creates a vicious circle and reinforces the belief that we need to be like somebody else or to do something else that we are not in order to be accepted …. Comparing yourself to others will only drain your energy and deprive your joy. Everyone has a different path and different timing in life, different values and believes about The World.

My advice is to trust the timing of your life. Trust that every experience taught you something that you need to know right now, and you are exactly where you need to be. The book Your destiny: own it will teach you how to identify the things that blocked you, will make you understand why people do what they do and it will teach you how to create belief systems that support your growth and lead you to the life that you want…